Star Wars A Spoofed Hope
by PsychicVampiress
Summary: The first chapter in the Original Star Wars


STAR WARS A SPOOFED NEW HOPE

Disclaimer

I do not own any characters except those which I created, Nor do I own any of these films, TV Shows, Games or Books they all belong to their rightful owners.

CAST SHEET……………………………………….

LUKE SKYWALKER………Morgead Nightworld

DARTH VADER…….Stefan Salvatore VD

PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA……Buffy Summers Btvs

HAN SOLO……Spike Btvs

CHEWBACCA…..Entei Pokemon the Third Movie

Ben (Obi Wan) Kenobi…….Albus Dumbledore Harry Potter

C-3PO…..Crow T Robot MST3K

R2-D2……Tom Servo MST3K

Uncle Owen…..Mr. Dursley HP

Aunt Beru……Mrs. Dursley HP

Grand Moff Tarkin…..Count Dooku Ep II, III

Admiral Motti…..Tom Locke The Forbidden Game

General Tagge…….Professor Snape HP

Jabba The Hutt…..Dudley Dursley HP

Wedge Antilles……Young Obi Wan Ep 1( a tribute to the fact. Ewan Mcgregor is the

Nephew of the man who played Wedge)

Greedo…..Dingo/ Sonic Underground

General Madine……Logan X-men

General Dodanna…..Dr. Henry Jones Sr.

Biggs Darklighter…..Delos Redfern Nightworld

Porkins……Rotor/ Sonic The Hedgehog

Dr. Evanson…..Freddie Krueger Nightmare Series

Ponda Bobba…..Sabertooth X-Men

Tusken Raiders….Predators/ Predator 1 and 2 and AVP

Jawas…..Goblins/ Labrynth

Stormtroopers…..Clones, Vampires, Orcs, Swatbots, Terminators

Banthas: Tria LBT XI, Sharpnose AOR TW, Mr. Thicknose and Daddy Topps LBT Series

Dewbacks: Terko AOR TH, Aladar, Neera, and Bruton

Rontos: Baylene, Bron, Grandma and Grandpa longneck

Narrator: Draco The Dragon/ Dragonheart

Rebel Officer on Tantive IV……Riley Finn Btvs

Tech and Special Effects Crew…..Zach Taylor, Miles Dyson, Silverwing( Author's sister's Creation)

Mr. Arnolds, Jareth, Cambot, Mr. Mistofelles, Albus Dumbledore, Cambot,Willow, Tara, Prof. McGonagal, Aurican, Auricus/ Dragonlance, Various unnamed Wizards and Witches (Tribute to ILM)

Medical Crew…..Two-One-Bee/ Empire Strikes Back, Arwen Evenstar, Elrond Half Elven, Nurse Joy, Madam Pomfrey, Marion/ Dinotopia, Rosemary/ Dinotopia, Samantha/ Dinotopia, Trudy Rainbow Face LBT 7, Donnie Rainbow Face LBT 7, Rafiki, Abba Elidae, Plio Dinosaur and Hannible Lecter the Crew Shrink.

Assistants to the Author: Jason B. A Vampire/ Shadowman mix ( Character based on Author's Boyfriend.) Darth Vader ( father), Klaus VD, Damon Salvatore, Julian, Jareth, Cera Threehorn, Selene Underworld, Yoda, Spike Btvs, Drake The Dragon ( One of Sarah's fathers. I aim to have everyone related to everyone on my spoofset by the end of these things.)/ Dragonheart 2,

Sonic The Hedgehog, Shadow The Hedgehog, Ash Redfern, Mewtwo

Peanut Gallery: Padme Nabbire Skywalker , Shmi Skywalker, Mara Jade Skywalker, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia Organa Solo, Han Solo, Jacen Solo, Jaina Solo, Anakin Solo, Mace Windu, Anakin Skywalker Episode 2, Jango Fett, Boba Fett, Darth Maul, Count Dooku, Ben Skywalker,

Obi Wan Kenobi older Star Wars, Shannon Summers Buffy and Spike's daughter ( I created her.) Dawn Summers, Oz, Angel ( Father), Xander Harris, Joyce Summers ( I brought her back), Anya, Lorne, Fred, Wesly, Gunn, Cordiliea, Drusilla, Harmony, Darla ( I brought her back too), Conner, Yakko, Wakko and Dot, Jenny Thornton, Dee Elidae, Michael Cohen, Audrey Meyers, Summer, Meredith Sluez, Matt Honeycutt, Shrek, Fiona, Draco Malfoy, Hermoine Granger, Sirrus Black, James and Lily Potter, Hagrid, Gypsy, Mike/ MST3K, Pippen, Frodo, Gollum, Merry, Samwise Gamgee, Legolas, Gimli, Aragon, Ian Malcom, Alan Grant, Sarah Harding, Ellie Satler, Sarah Conner, John Conner, Kyle Reese, T-850, Tails, Knuckles, Sonia, Manic, Amy Rose, Rouge The Bat, Julie-Su/ STH Comics, Sally Acorn STHSATAM, Sarah Williams, Sir Didymus, Jake, Tobias, Rachel, Cassie, Marco, Prince Elfangor, Homer Simpson, Marge Simpson, Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons, Ash Kecthum, Misty, Brock, May, Max, Gary Oak, Jessie, James, Meowth, Entei, Mollie, Latios, Latias, Lugia, Pikachu, Charizard and many other pokemon, Bowen, Aislinn, Kara, Geoff DragonHeart and DragonHeart a New Beginning, Burt Gummers Tremors, Lt. Ripley, Col. John Hicks, Newt Aliens

ANIMALS………… Aladar, Ali, Baylene, Bron, Littlefoot, Zippeau, Ducky, Spike Spike-tail, Petrie, Pterano, Doc, Grandma and Grandpa Longneck, Littlefoot's mother, Shorty, Daddy Topps, Tria, Pat, Sue, TLBT Eema, Kron, Neera, Bruton, and Url, Dinosaur, Donkey, Puss ' N Boots, Dragon, Hedwig, Buckbeak, Spirit, Rain, Esperanza, Thoron The Dragon King/ Dragons Fire and Ice the Movie, Mufasa, Simba, Nala, Sarabi, Scar, Zira, Kiara, Kovu, Timon, Pumbaa, Ceberus / Hercules, Fluffy, Spyro the Dragon, Dragon Shrek, Norbert The Norwegian Ridgeback, Silvira DL, Gorbash, Smrgol The Flight of Dragons the Movie, Cael Cyndar Dragon Rage, Sunrise DL, Blayze DL, Burll DL, Satyca DL, Dal, Varl Make Way for Dragons, Kellehandros, Malstryx, Beryl, Sable, Frost DL, Smelt, Daria, Callak, Oro, Midas, Kenta and Terk DL, Amalthea the Unicorn/ Last Unicorn, Celeano the Harpy The Last Unicorn, Fawkes the Phoenix, Marlin, Nemo, Coral, Dory, Gill, Bruce, Crush and Squirt Finding Nemo

Security……Blueback, Longjaw, Talon, Climber, Shorttail ( Tyrannosaurs AOR TRW), Dark-eye, Quetzal, One-claw, Leopard, Maya, Sina, Snake-eye, Three-tooth( Deinonychus AOR TW), Santo, Chula ( allosaurs AOR TH) Raptors from Dinosaur and Jurassic Park, BlackAcid, Bladetail, Slasher, Aliens from ALIENS, HKS, T-1000, T-X, Godzilla and Various Godzilla Monsters and Ardeth Bay/ The Mummy

Torture Crew: Clefairys, Clefables, Tinysauruses LBT XI, Dr. Silberman Terminator Films, Bonnie Mccollugh VD, Fairy Godmother Shrek 2, Pounce Cats, Rumpleteazer Cats, Mungojerry Cats, Macavity Cats and Jar Jar Binks

CHAPTER 1………………………..

Sarah: Is everyone ready?

Drake: I'm ready

Jason B: So am I

Damon: Wait why is my stupid brother Vader? He's not evil

Sarah: Because Morgead has black hair and is a vampire and Buffy has green eyes and are his children, he's also taller than you and we're also trying to crack him That's why.

Spike: Bloody Ponce isn't evil I hate to tell you that.

Angel: Neither are you anymore Captain Peroxide!

Spike: At least I don't die in the next spoof yeh bloody poof. For all you A/B FansAngel is Kyle Reese in My Terminator Spoofs.

Sarah: Enough! We're Beginning now.

Sarah: Grandpa Draco will you narrate please

Draco Dragon: Yes that's fine. Long ago in a galaxy far, far away

Sarah: Skip all the words everyone knows em by heart

Draco Dragon: Over the dessert world of Tatoo-wene? Is that right?

Sarah: We'll be doing a lot of name butchering. Thank you Cassi and Sven

In the spoofs.

The Blockade Runner Tantive IV is outrunning The Devastator an Imperial Star Destroyer and is hit.

Crow: Did you hear that they shut down the main reactor and the drive. Madness, this is madness. We'll be destroyed for sure. Boy Threepio sure is pessimistic.

Threepio: I am not I'm just realistic

Han, Lando and Boba: Denial.

Tom Servo: Beeps an answer to Crow.

Crow: Yes I suppose they did have to shut the drive down, but what are we going to do now? I say we kick Imperial butt is what I say. Then we make them watch cheesy movies all the time!

Damon: Script!

Crow: We can't enter atmosphere with our main stabilizer fin destroyed. I can't believe we're going to simply surrender. Surrender? Not in my vocabulary!

Tom Servo: Beeps in agreement and is standing looking at something.

Crow: What is it Tom?

Tom Servo: Beeps and whistles

Scraping sounds are heard as Imperials break in.

Crow: They've broken in somewhere above us there's no escape for the Captain this time. Tom I think we'd better….

The door blows in and Clones, Orcs and Vampires in stormtrooper outfits pour in as do swatbots and terminators.

Padme: Wait why are there terminators and swatbots? In the Empire all the battle and destroyer droids were dismantled when the stormtroopers filled the void as the main shock troops of the empire.

Sarah: I know but we couldn't find enough orcs or vampires as most of them have been slain and we're still working on the clones.

Sarah Conner: Terminators in the Empire how fitting.

Jason B: Just wait until we get to the prequels with the droid armies in them.

Comic Book Guy: But Episode III isn't even out yet it will be incomplete!

Sarah: Relax by the time we're down with the original trilogy as well as a few other spoofs Revenge of The Sith will be in Theatres and we'll be able to spoof it.

Draco Dragon: The Smoke Clears and Darth Salvatore comes in.

Stefan: Dressed in Darth Vader armor comes in his respirator hisses as he breathes.

Crow: Tom where did you scoot off to we have to get off of this ship?

Tom Servo: Over here! I mean Beep Whistle Bloop beep.

Spike: You're not supposed to speak!.

Tom Servo is in a Hallway where Buffy who's disguised is giving him the plans.

Buffy turns takes out a stake and runs off and Tom Servo comes back.

Crow: Tom were you just hitting on her? The Imperials will be heading this way.

Tom Servo: Hey she's hot and no I wasn't hitting on her I already have a girl friend. Waves his hand at Gypsy

Gypsy: Be careful dear don't let them tear you apart.

Tom Servo: Not as long as I have this. Pulls out a pulse rifle

Han: Waith a minute.Since when does Artoo have a pulse rifle?

Crow: We have all sorts of weapons Tom you'd be better off with this. Pulls out a flamethrower. Let's get out of here before this place blows. We'll take out all who stand in our way. We must deliver the message!

T 850: I thought that was the R2 unit's mission.

Crow: Yeah well they're not getting my buddy Tom!

Tom Locke: I didn't know anyone cared about me.

Julian: Not you Tommy! Tom Servo no one cares about you!

Spike: Script!

Tom Servo: Beeps and heads towards the escape pods.

Crow: This is dumb we already know we go for the escape pod and why shouldn't robots be allowed in them we play with cans of silly string in the ones on the Sattilite of Love all the time?

Threepio: Make them do it right they're making us look stupid!

Artoo: Letting out a string of beeps that sounds like laughter and him trying to say something.

Sarah Skywalker: R2 thinks it's funny.

R2: Beeps yes it is.

Threepio: Traitor.

Stefan: Holding Riley in his rebel uniform and shaking him. Where is the data you intercepted? What have you done with the information tapes?

Riley: We… intercepted…..no information. This is a…councilor vessel….Did you not see our….exterior markings? We're on a….diplomatic mission…also I never give…information to….vamp…ires.

Stefan: This ship carries the system crest of Alderann are any of the royal family on board? Where's the slayer?

Luke: I thought Father's mission was to retrieve stolen tapes not kill a vampire slayer.

Spike: The Slayer's on board?

Damon: Like Stefan could ever find her he has the worst sense of direction of any vampire I know. Sad that I'm his brother. Hey Stefan you wouldn't know the Dark Side if it hit you in the face!

Stefan: Glares at Damon through his armor and attempts to use the Dark side on him. Damon throws up a Force sheild of his own and blocks Stefan's attack.

Stefan: No Fair how come he gets the Force?

Jason B: He's your brother and he also is and assistant and Immune to death. Bonnie! We have a new boyfriend for you!

Bonnie: Stefan you look so cute in that costume. We're gonna have lots of fun! Drags Stefan off to his doom.

Han: Your Darth Vader just got dragged off how will we continue?

Sarah Skywalker: I guess we're going on break.

Jason B: Breaktime!

Two hours Later Sarah and her Assistants Reenter Stefan is back from Bonnie's " Makeout" session.

Spike: Will I be in this anytime soon?

Morgead: We're getting bored.

Jason B: We're continuing now!

Stefan: Who are you carrying? As if we don't know the slayer's on board with a bunch of rebels already.

Damon: Stefan script or I get to try my new toy on you! Takes out a rocket launcher

Stefan: You gave him a rocket launcher?

Damon: Hey I'm going to the first Dinosaur Island so I'm going prepared. Damon will be in Jurassic Park the Spoof he's playing Ian Malcom.

Spike: You will start acting now. Spike's playing Damon in my Vampire Diarires Spoofs with Amanda and Luke is Stefan so Spike has the Force now and Luke's a vampire.

Riley: I'd never…tell….you…demon…sp…awn. Buff…y's mi…ne. Gasps and dies of strangulation. Darth Savior/ Stefan tosses him aside.

Stefan: Tear this ship apart and if you find anyone of importance bring them to me I want them alive! If you don't I'll snap your necks and drain you dry! I'm starting to like this role.

Elena: You're making him evil! Stefan don't!

Sarah: Elena you're playing Padme in the Prequels.

Morgead: Hi mom! Waves to Elena.

Buffy: Wait Morgead is supposed to be my twin brother and Elena's our mom then if I remember the movies that means Stefan's my….No That's Imposssible It can't be true!

Stefan: Search your feelings Slayer you know it to be true!

Angel: Stefan's a Vampire and Buffy's father which would make her half vampire!

Ash Redfern: her brother's a vampire too and so's her boyfriends

Spike: I'm Captain Blast em all?

Jason B: Script! Or Else.

Draco Dragon: So the Imperials rushed to do Darth Savior's bidding in fear of their own necks. Meanwhile Tom Servo and Crow make their escape.

Crow: Hey you're not permitted in here Tom. It's restricted to humans only! Ahh what do I care it's a way off this crazy ship. Punch it Servo we have a message to deliver!

Tom Servo: Pushes a button and the escape pod jettisons from the ship.

Sarah: We're skipping the part about them thinking the escape pod malfunctioned and jettisoned by itself because we all know it didn't.

Draco: a group of stormtroopers find Princess Buffy Summers and capture her and take…I said they storm troopers capture her!

Buffy: Dusting the vamps and blasting the orcs with a pulse rifle. Huh What?

Julian: Get it right slayer or else! Points an Uzi at her.

Buffy: Minding. Let's the troopers zap her and falls to the ground.

Vamp 267: She'll be all right. Unfortunatley, report to Lord Saviour.

Next chapter. We finally get introduced to Morgead Salvatore, Spike Solo and Old Albus as well as many surprises.


End file.
